Operation: MINI wave

Yes, this is still not a Europe recap. I’m sorry!

When I first bought my Mini Cooper back in 2007, I received a handbook instructing me how to act as a Mini owner, called the Unauthorized Owner’s Manual. The disclaimer in the front states, “This manual is not intended to help you understand the operation and maintenance of your motor vehicle. Rather, it is meant to provide you with invaluable information that would, under normal motoring conditions, take most MINI owners months to discover for themselves. Information has been painstakingly gleaned from many hours of vehicle operation.”

One of the first things this book tells you is that MINI owners do not obsess over the cleanliness of their cars. Which is something I’m good at doing, as washing my car really rarely crosses my mind. It states, “Maintain proper perspective. MINI owners do not irrationally obsess about such things. Bug guts on the grille and muddy fenders are signs of a healthy, well-motored life. Imagine it’s like tooling around town in an abstract painting.”

Continuing through, the book informs you how to make out properly in your car and tips on how to flirt at red lights.

But the real point of this post is on pages 26 and 28 of the manual. Page 26 states, “Dating back to MINI’s birth in the UK, there exists a time-honored tradition of owners greeting each other when they pass on the streets. The moment you first sat in your MINI, you became a member of the family. So, as is customary, try and refrain from acts of shyness, aloofness or woeful complacency. When you pass another MINI, say, ‘Hey.’” Page 28 has graphical representation of different waves you can do to other vehicles.

I was excited when I first read this. I like it when people wave to me. I dated an abundance of guys with Jeeps in 1999 and 2000, and they all taught me about the ‘Jeep wave’, so I was excited to have one of my own. And then I figured out: no one in this town follows the manual.

I was shy at first, so I was waiting for people to wave to me. But no one ever did. In the first year and a half of owning my car, literally the only other Mini owner who waved to me was my neighbor who lived three doors down and also had a Mini. I don’t know if this is because we both owns Minis or because we are neighbors. Maybe it’s both.

When I went to Europe, Mini Coopers were practically every third car, especially in Paris. I kept wanting to wave to them. Even the parked ones. But I would look like a fool, considering I was an American tourist walking around on foot. So I returned to the States with a new resolve to restart the Mini wave here in Nashville. Hence, Operation: MINI wave was born.

Except Minis are NOT every third car here. They are quite rare. And when I see them, they are on the wrong side of the road or in some other location that makes it impossible to wave to them. So I was a little disgruntled when I got back and could go for days without even seeing one of my own kind.

Until yesterday.

I performed my first successful wave yesterday to a guy in a white Mini on West End Ave. Rock on. (For the curious, we both partook in a Commoner Wave.) So Operation: MINI wave has officially begun. I will consider it a success when people start waving to me, without me waving first. I would also consider it a success if I get a certain local celebrity who drives a Mini to wave at me.

So, if you happen to be a local Mini driver, please do your part. Let’s be friendly car owners!

Getting inside my head…

Okay, I promise a total recap of my Europe trip in the coming weeks. But, first, I wanted to talk about some revelations I had about life while I was gone.

Since Ben and I split, he has complained that I’ve changed. It hit me that it hasn’t been me that has changed, but my focus in life.

When we were together, I wanted what I thought I was supposed to want…which I’ve really wanted all my life; I won’t deny that. I wanted us to grow up, settle down, buy a house in the suburbs, get married, start a family, etc. I wanted stability. It was to the point that I had mapped out our entire lives in Quicken so I could figure out where we would be financially when we both retired, even after paying college tuition for our two children. Ben, on the other hand, was always more spontaneous than me. I planned. He did not. I wanted to be what I considered an adult. He did not. We did not have the same focus in life, and, thus, we were doomed to fail.

Since our split, I started thinking a lot. Is this really what I want? Or is this just what society is telling me I should want? I thought about things that I enjoy in life. I love being in the security of a relationship. I love to travel. I love the thought of being spontaneous, though I’m really not, which is why I usually tend toward spontaneous guys when I date. I started imagining the life I had previously wanted. My life revolving around my children. No freedom to do what I want anymore. All my money being slowly sapped away for 18+ years. It seemed bleak. I started looking at my house that I bought less than two years ago, and just really, really wanting to sell it and move somewhere random. Maybe I’m just associating it with bad/sad memories; I don’t know.

Part of the reason I started thinking about this stuff was due to two former Weddingbee bloggers writing about why they will or won’t have children. I had started trying to catch up on all the blogs I’d neglected to read during my downtime last month and came across these posts. Ellie (Mrs. Lovebug) wrote about her decision to be child-free. I’d link to it, but it seems she’s since made her blog private. In response, Sara (Mrs. Creampuff) wrote about how she used to not want children, but why she will probably have them. You can read her three-part post here, here, and here. I found that I agreed with all their reasons to not have children. This confused me for a bit. I’ve always wanted kids. Ask anyone that knows me. I was kind of obsessed with it. So, the fact that I was suddenly thinking that I didn’t really made me open my eyes a little (okay, a lot). That’s when I started thinking about the whole what I want vs. what society wants thing. I’ve had people point out that maybe I just think I don’t want them because I’m not currently in a relationship with anyone, and that once I meet the right person, I’ll desperately want to have his children. Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not going to say that I definitely never, ever want children; I’m just going to say that I’m leaning that way right now, as I know I am not currently financially, emotionally, or mentally prepared for such a difficult task that would change my life forever.

Anyway, so back to my actual point. The revelation that I may not want children really threw my life focus into some sort of whirlwind. I mean, that was the Ultimate Goal. I had to rethink everything. I mentally changed my focus to ‘fun’ while I gave it more thought, and that’s where I was for the majority of the month of May.

Then I went to Europe.

Paris was the first stop, and I absolutely fell in love. Head over heels. If someone offered me a job today and said, “But you’ll have to move to Paris,” I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I’ve always been fond of large cities. This is where I hit revelation #2: Living in the suburbs kind of sucks. If I were going to live in Paris, I’d want to live IN Paris. In some tiny apartment in the middle of everything. Large house in the suburbs is also apparently not something I really want anymore. Strange. Although, I guess if I don’t plan on filling it with children, there’s no real need. I also have an overwhelming desire to sell most of the crap in my house.

I decided that I needed to move somewhere with an awesome Metro system. Best. Thing. Ever. So, yes, I do think I will be moving at some point in the future. Probably out of state. Probably somewhere with a Metro system. And preferably somewhere on the coast. I mentally kicked myself for not pursing that job in San Francisco a few years back. I didn’t for several reasons, the main two was that I didn’t want to move far from Ben in case we got back together (we were on a break at the time) and that I was scared to death of moving by myself. I’m working on my fear of doing things alone. I went to a bar last night by myself for the first time ever. I survived. I actually had fun.

So two major things had been knocked out of my original life focus. What was I supposed to focus on now? I still want to get married, of course, as nothing is more important to me than love, and I can’t EVER see that changing. But the rest of it? Not what I want anymore.

I decided that my focus should be to live. Don’t overplan, as I have a tendency to do. It surprises a lot of people when I tell them I didn’t plan my Europe trip. Sure, I booked hotels and transportation. But that’s it. When we stepped off the plane in Paris, my mom asked how we were supposed to get to our hotel. I didn’t know. But I figured it out. And that’s all I’m trying to do now. One day at a time. Figure it out.

30 Before 30 Update

I’m in Europe, so I’ve scheduled this to post while I’m gone. The first list is getting there… Um, and I rearranged a bit. I removed “buy land for a house”, moved “build a snowman” to later, and added “go to Vegas”.

Before I’m 28, I will:
• watch “Citizen Kane”.
• read at least five books on my books to read list. (I think I need a new list. Or not keep myself to a list. I keep reading things that aren’t on the list.)
• get a passport.
• see a live musical. (I can cross this off in September.)
• make a new friend.
• buy (or acquire) a dSLR camera and learn how to use it.
• volunteer for something.
• watch a sunrise.
• take a class of some sort.
• travel to Europe.

Before I’m 29, I will:
• kiss under a waterfall.
• read at least ten books on my books to read list.
• hold a formal 4-course dinner party.
• do landscaping on the yard.
• hire a maid.
• go skydiving.
• learn to knit.
• go to Vegas.
• write to a congressperson about something that’s really important to me.
• travel to a beach I’ve never been to.

Before I’m 30, I will:
• get a promotion.
• read at least fifteen books on my books to read list.
• write a novel.
• pay my parents back.
• pay off all student loans and credit cards.
• put 10% of my paycheck into my 401k.
• build a snowman.
• stop thinking of 30 as old.
• see at least one of the following bands/artists in concert: Tool, Coldplay, Nine Inch Nails, Jack Johnson, or Daft Punk. (Stupid Coldplay is coming while I’ll be in Europe. Not to mention that the tickets are like $120 each.)
• travel to California.

Au revoir!

I’m leaving for Paris in 2.5 hours! I’ll be back with hopefully lots of good blogging material in two weeks after Paris, Bellagio, Venice, and Florence!

Here’s a shot from my bon voyage get-together last night to tide you over before all the Europe photos come pouring in.