Wednesday, March 17, 2010

// posted by Jessica in Fun Stuff @ 1:08:16 am -
Cake is better than pie.

Earlier, I happened upon this amusing-yet-totally-wrong blog post about pie and cake. I had to stop and re-read what it was trying to sell me. Pie? Better than cake? People really think this way? So, I have prepared a rebuttal.

Don’t get me wrong, I like pie. Some of it. Not that fruit-filled stuff. (C’mon, it’s dessert. It’s not supposed to be healthy!) Chocolate pie is good. Kentucky Derby pie is great. Boston Cream Pie is the best. Oh, wait. That’s not even really pie, is it? It’s cake. And it’s pretty sad when the best a dessert has to offer is really just something else in disguise.

Now, point by point…

#1. They say that while cake initially tastes better, pie’s enjoyment lasts longer. Um, what? What kinds of cakes have you been eating? Cake is enjoyable from the first bite to the last, and usually then I want more. They even admit that CAKE TASTES BETTER.

#2. They say that unequal frosting distribution is a minus for cakes. Um, at least cakes have frosting.

#3. They say that a greater amount of the pie is enjoyable. Apparently there are people who just like frosting and only the frosting. These people have never had a well-made cake. I think they just need to expand their cake tasting beyond Wal-mart’s bakery.

#4. They claim that because pie charts exist and cake charts do not, this makes pie better because it’s more scientifically viable. Well, cake is more mathematically viable, as there is a cake number and not a pie number. (And pi does not count; it’s not even spelled the same.)

#5. This was the most messed up point of all. They claim pie can be eaten in more situations and provide this little chart:

Um, what? First of all, why is pie equal with cake on birthdays? Who has ever heard of birthday pie? Please. Any child that ended up with a birthday pie would be the laughingstock of all their friends. I’ll give Halloween to pie, if they are referring to pumpkin pie, though I’ve never actually eaten pumpkin pie on any day other than Thanksgiving. And Christmas? Have we not heard of fruitcake? While it’s the black sheep of the cake world, it still counts. And they’ve left out one important event: weddings! Weddings have cake (usually)! Finally, birthdays and weddings both can happen year round. Halloween? It’s once a year. The graph should have looked more like this:


Even pie fans should see this goes right to cake.

#6. They claim that cake has longer-lasting negative consequences because it can cause diabetes when eating a lot over time. News flash: so can pie.

So now that I have debunked all of their claims, I would like to add one more thing that weighs this heavily in cake’s favor. The cast of Lost? They like cake.

8 Responses to “Cake is better than pie.”

  1. JustLinda says:

    Oh, touche’!!!

    (I think you have her right where you want her – now go in for the kill!)

    (Allie, just kidding. I’m totally on your side!!!)

    (Oh my gosh, I think I’m a double-agent!)


    Off to write a post about why Red Skittles are way better than cake and pie put together…

  2. Ellie says:

    You’re right: birthday PIE?
    and don’t forget the versatility of the humble savoury cake: rice cakes, corn cakes, mud cakes… Ok, they’re not savoury, but can’t be left off any list which claims to be of cake.

  3. Mouse says:

    As an attorney, I must say your arguments are solid. (But I still prefer pie! Or cupcakes!)

  4. simone says:

    Yeah, I think places should sell individual slices of wedding cake for those of us who love wedding cake, but cannot tolerate or endure another horrible wedding celebration. Excellent rebut. Totally agree.

  5. Mackenzie says:

    I went out for apple pie on my 21st birthday. Unfortunately the place with the best apple pie I’ve ever had also has a bar, so my friends successfully forced me to consume alcohol. Ugh. But the pie helped cover up the disgusting taste of vodka!

    Also: I tend to try to get the piece of cake with the least icing and/or scrape the icing off.

    What is the difference between wedding cake and any-other-cake-with-white-icing? You know, except $300?

  6. delight says:

    dudee, you are soo right. CAKE IS WAYY BETTER THAN DAMN PIES!!!! ppl who say that pie has a pie day and number, well they just need glasses cause they dont know how to read.

  7. Pie Board UK says:

    A rebuttal to your arguments.

    Pie covers the following categories;

    PIZZA (literally translates to pie in Italian)
    Cheesecake, your best cake, is a pie (So go ahead and enjoy your pathetic boston pie).
    Tarts are pies.
    Pasties are pies.
    Turnovers are pies.
    Sausage rolls are pies.
    We have crumbles.
    Banoffee Pie exists.

    Pie can be both savoury and sweet. They can also be a snack, an entire meal, or a dessert. You could have the three p’s, if so desired; starter pie, main course pie, dessert pie.

    The way cakes adapt is to trick people by changing their theme. Thats all they’ve got. Tacky wedding cakes are an esthetic item, not a foodstuff.

    We have pastry. Pies are generally much healthier for you. You could live off pie, attempting the same with cake would be foolish. Pies existed far before the cake, and are layered in tradition, once ruling the dining world. Pie goes with things; ice cream, custard, pickled onions, gherkins, gravy, mash potato.

    The Highest Pie Authority.